Maryrose and I will be taking the next month or so off to focus on family time. While we’re unplugged, we will publish a mix of guest columns and some of the better stuff I’ve previously posted here. We hope you enjoy them all.
Cheers,
Bob
“Hello, my son. Welcome to Earth.
You may not be my last, but you’ll always be my first.”
~ Sturgill Simpson
Pearson,
Welcome to Earth!
You’re going to love it here. There’s so much beauty and wonder to enjoy, so much to learn, discover, and explore. Earth is truly an incredible place and, in most ways, it’s rapidly getting better.
Your mom and I are delighted to officially welcome you into our family. We’ve spent years talking about you and planning your arrival, and we’re thrilled you’re finally here!
We decided to name you Pearson Douglass Ewing.
Pearson comes from your mom’s side. Her father’s mother – your great-grandmother – had Pearson as a maiden name. I was fortunate to get to know her while she was alive. She was a talented artist, as was her father – your great-great-grandfather.
The artwork of the horse that hangs on the wall next to your crib was hand-painted by your great-great-grandfather. It hung in your grandfather’s bedroom next to his crib when he was your age. Perhaps it will hang in your grandson’s room as well.
We hope you draw inspiration from your Pearson relatives to embrace your inner creativity and express yourself authentically – to have the courage to be a nonconformist, as anyone succeeding in being their true self must.
Your middle name comes from Frederick Douglass, the best storyteller and public speaker in American history. He used his voice to play a key role in two of the most important policy victories of all time: ending slavery and helping women secure the right to vote.
We hope you draw inspiration from Douglass to think for yourself, to speak up and fight for what is right regardless of its popularity, to unite with anyone to do good and no one to do ill, to refuse to adopt a victim mindset no matter your circumstance, and to move beyond righteous indignation to show with clarity and compassion the correct path forward.
Your last name comes from me. Our relatives have traced our family line twelve generations, forming an unbroken chain that travels back in time to the 1600s. I’m excited to share with you the names of your ancestors and the stories I know about them.
We hope your last name helps instill in you a feeling of home and a connection to family that expands across vast stretches of land and time. And that, wherever you are, you always feel a sense of belonging.
At first, we will be making lots of decisions for you. One day, you will be able to fully live your life on your own terms – to discover and become who you truly are.
Our job as parents is to help you achieve this.
We will do our best to give you all the guidance and resources you need to follow your path. We will pass along some good traits – I hope you get your mom’s resilience, leadership, and integrity – and work hard to keep from foisting our faults, foibles, and frustrations upon you.
Your life is yours alone to figure out. The poet Rilke says there is only one way to do this: Dive into yourself, discover the deepest places of your heart and mind, and be content with the mysteries within as you gradually learn to understand and express what you unravel in a way that resonates and guides.
The better you discover and become who you truly are, the better you will connect deeply with others, feel fulfilled, and contribute to the world.
It’s important to balance this truth with another captured by the psychologist Marie-Louise von Franz:
There is a strange attitude and feeling that one is not yet in real life…there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about.
We often spend our days thinking we are in preparation for some different “real life” coming in the future. But every day is real life. There is no perfect “game day” we arrive at when everything is in its proper place and we’ve precisely pieced it all together.
This second truth drives home the importance of filling your days with meaning. As the author Annie Dillard famously wrote: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
You cannot wait to be happy until you’ve fully discovered and become your true self. Find ways to enjoy each of your days. Little moments, day in and day out, where you are content, or you feel connected to other people – or something larger than self. Find moments in the mundane to experience awe and joy and gratitude.
Your mom and I were both blessed to have wonderful parents. We will work hard to ensure you do as well. Please know that, despite our efforts, we are sure to screw up many times as parents. We promise to do our best and to learn from our mistakes.
You will help us to rediscover and appreciate the awe and magic of life. We’ve already taken the first steps as a family in a lifetime of adventures we’ll share together!
Most importantly, we will always love you unconditionally. We will always believe in you and root for you – and you will always be enough just as you are.
You’ve already made the world a better place.
With Love and Gratitude,
Dad
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Welcome to Earth by Sturgill Simpson: